Supporting Our LGBTQ Friends and Neighbors
Social Equity
Happy Friday, my friends! We are looking at the topic of social equity, and specifically, considering how we can support the LGBTQ community. Hint: seeing our shared humanity and engaging in proactive communication are a good start. But first, today’s shot of inspiration.
Today’s Inspiration: We have a round-up of inspirational stories. The link takes you to a short summary of the story and offers the option to read the entire story.
Dedicated Dad Pushed Son In Wheelchair In 1,000+ Races Over 40 Years (karunavirus.org)
Probing Question: How can we be of service in building an inclusive and welcoming world, specifically for our LGBTQ friends, loved ones, and neighbors?
In my life experience, I (and others in my close circle) are successful in doing this when we choose to value the person over any of our personal beliefs or prejudices, or societal norms. We CHOOSE not to make our love and respect contingent on someone having the “appropriate” or “expected” sexual orientation or gender identity.
I have a lot of lesbian, gay, or bi-sexual people in my close circle; it hasn’t been hard for me to accept and love them for who they are. I watched my father deal very gracefully with my brother coming out. My Dad was both pragmatic and loving. Basically, he realized he could accept his son for who he is and have a relationship with him or he could stand on some kind of principle and lose his relationship with his son. My Dad chose wisely.
Where I have personally struggled to be accepting is with people who are transgender. There is no one in my close circle, that I know of, who has gone through with a gender transition or identifies as a different gender than they appear to be. Nevertheless, I have seen my views evolve. When I first started hearing about this issue, I completely didn’t understand it, and was somewhat disturbed by it. My views softened as I realized that I strongly identify as female and how difficult it would be if I had been born as a male. While not having had this experience, I could imagine how painful it might be for me. By putting myself in another person’s shoes, I have found more empathy and love.
The “through line” I’m seeing in many of today’s issues is looking for the shared humanity among us. At the end of the day, we all want to be accepted and loved for who we are. We want to feel safe. Given that we all want and need that, it’s part of our shared humanity.
We can be of service in creating a more inclusive and equitable world by CHOOSING to see our shared humanity, CHOOSING to accept people for who and how they are. It involves Doing the Personal Work (more on that in a moment) and adopting the Platinum Rule.
Many of you are familiar with the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. The Platinum Rule is “do unto others as they would be done unto”, meaning we treat them as they want to be treated. That involves unconditional love for all humans and then a healthy dose of proactive communication.
Take Action: Start Small
· Visit some websites to educate yourself about LGBTQ issues and perspectives. Learning more on your own normalizes it, and allows the world to become more accepting! You might try these for a starting place:
o National Center for Transgender Equality (transequality.org)
·If someone close to you is LGBTQ, consider having a conversation and asking them questions that you have. Make sure this person is comfortable talking about it, and don’t push if they aren’t.
·As simple as it may sound, identifying your preferred gender pronouns (like on Zoom, for example) is a simple way to move past the assumption that everyone’s gender identity should align with their current gender expression.
·Consider donating to a charity that seeks to bring about inclusiveness and equity for the LGBTQ community.
Go Bigger:
·Do the Personal Work – If you have difficulty accepting people because of their sexual preference or gender identity, consider that the problem may not be with them. What deeply held beliefs might be getting in your way? What are you prioritizing over love, kindness, acceptance, and our shared humanity? Is choosing this other priority helping to make our world kinder, fairer and more loving?
Each of us is only truly safe in a world where everyone can be who they truly are.
Colleen Osborne
Will you join me in building a world where every single human can feel safe, valued and loved, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity?
Original Art Banner by Katie Huerta. See Katie’s Etsy Shop HERE.
With support from Big Fish Virtual Administration.
As an LGBTQ+ community member I am grateful for the humanity you expressed in the resistance you encountered when first learning of the struggle of people who are trans. I am also grateful for your challenge to others not in the community to do their own research to reduce the emotional labor burden on community members. Thank you for sharing.
My grandson came out as "him" at age 17. When my son called to tell me about his coming-out conversation, I said, "This will take some time as I just lost a granddaughter, but of course I will accept him." My very wise and caring son said, "Mom, nothing has changed except his name. He is still the same wonderful person." Immediately, I changed my perspective with no moment lost in our relationship. Thanks, Colleen for sharing your story.